Friday, February 10 . 10:44 PM
finally some "me" time for myself; at least only for every friday night. :/
j2 life has been really draining, perhaps more of an understatement. and just when you thought that j1 life is bad enough alr...
seriously, j1s, enjoy life while you can now it'll get worse soon! :/
j1 intake has been really scary, with numbers decreasing every prac... no. of GUYS dropping. this is really really bad. if you consider venice's attendance it's even more depressing.. T.T
have to be disciplined this year alr, no more exceptions.
don't tell me that's the end... nonono get rid of all negative thoughts. we're so gonna get that grand champion at italy and then sing no importa man.! (Y)
some photos of what's been happening... other than that.... STUDIES. -troll-
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| VC concert: @ esplanade backstage! |
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| with mr kwei on esplanade stage! |
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| lohei j2 sops and altos! |
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| jonas' artistic drawing! :D |
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| classmates came to bainian! :D |
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| awesome classmates cum choirmates! :D |
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VENICE! :)
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Monday, December 5 . 12:25 AM
AJChoir Farewell '11
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| sop SLs & jess! :) |
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| :) |
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| sopranos! ♥ |
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| musico 10-11 & 11-12!! ♥♥ |
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| choir comm 10-11 & 11-12! ♥ |
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| my beloved musico! ♥♥♥ |
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| AJChoir 10-11 & 11-12! ♥♥♥ |
ajchoir farewell yesterday. it was fun, cold, tiring, reminiscing and emotional. started off kind of awkward but towards the end it got better with all the games, speeches and lastly no importa. ♥ probably the last time we'll get to sing our anthem with the seniors. :/ then took photos, they look so colourful. (Y)
special thanks to these seniors who're important or played a huge role in my ajchoir life so far:
Joanna, Huisze, Jessica, Nica, Teckchuan, Shaun, Renjun, Junwei, Nicholas. thank you guys from the bottom of my heart. :) though i know your won't see this. no importa la distancia! ♥
this will probably be my last post till after retests... tmrw onwards chiong like siao already!! >.< till next time...!
this will probably be my last post till after retests... tmrw onwards chiong like siao already!! >.< till next time...!
Friday, November 11 . 7:27 PM
today is 11/11/11, where couples/friends/families get together. it is special for me too, but in another way. realised many important things today, things that i knew but wasn't so certain of. now i'm pretty sure yeah. pw gone = liberation! (Y) the past weeks have been fun, going out and all. but now i just seem to be getting sick of it all. monday's the big day; whether i'll promote or retest depends on fate already. still have to perform for ms leong before the verdict.. :S had to go back to school for a rehearsal sigh. travelling time twice that of time spent in school. :/ totally waste time.
idk what's up with me today. pms-ing throughout the whole duration out of home. in choir room, it's like me & the choir. we're in two separate rooms. i can't hear any of them talking, laughing, chatting. even conducting was a chore. everyone looked so tired, so restless. well duh, asking us to come back at such short notice, even justine was pissed. the emo-ing became worse especially on the journey home. thank goodness friends showed concern. <3 the usual few who i cherish so, and a couple of unexpected souls. this quote "funny how life works, isn't it :)" by limzui really makes sense and cheered me up a lot. :) thank you!
As just started.. see many complaints on fb and twitter everyday. aiyo cambridge... why every year getting harder? :/ meaning next year also gone case la... wonder how i managed to survive one year of jc life.. so torturous and mentally draining. and i'm only half done! T.T stupid competitive education system... no degree = no future. how to survive like that? aiyo.
Wednesday, October 26 . 1:21 AM
27/11 Outing 3 (ECP):
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| my quirky, unique, everything-last-minute-but-still-get-things-done pw group. :D no hendddddddrik! :/ |
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| the outing was really fun, best out of the two i've been to! :) i'm so glad that we've grown closer; from complete strangers to quite awesome friends! :) |
J2s Farewell Assembly:
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| 1st ever ajchoir J1 performance in school. hope the seniors could feel us as we sang itsumo. :') as much as the effort we put in for this performance, irregardless of pe dept who wasted our time so much. it was all worth it. ^^ |
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| jo! my sop1 sl! :D |
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| fellow sop! :D |
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| fellow Westerner/bitch :D |
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| awesome gor! :D |
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| musico! ♥ -in the girls toilet- :P |
Tuesday, October 11 . 11:43 PM
who would be there?...
to lend me a listening ear and be my source of emotional comfort?
:(
Tuesday, October 4 . 5:25 PM
sometimes i get all sorts of surprises, and loads of conflicting emotions.
i thought my judgement of people around me were good, but they aren't.
i don't truly realise those who really care, those who bother to talk to me, or those supporting me quietly from behind. take them all for granted.
those who i habitually assume as nice people or good confidantes, they aren't that approachable "internally".
there are of course people whom i can trust, confide in whenever and ever, and have heart-to-heart chats with during my "emo-ish nights". they're the best. ♥ very few, but precious.
i do treasure the people around me, in my way; the zoe way.
Thursday, September 29 . 12:34 AM
effectively 4 more days now...It is definitely not easy, even with the everyday studying mindset. life just gets monotonous with all the pw nonsense and mundane process of practicing and memorisng. but we can choose what perspective we're looking from ain't it? how're we gonna do that when everyone's just anxious about the end result - to pass.? i wonder if that's truly learning at all. what's the whole point of it when we're simply following this set of "formulas", as Mr. Bell himself said it to clear our exams and move on? the intention is purposeful, but overall outcome unjustified. practicality as they said it? who on earth said that this is the only route to a prospectful future? it is ultimately the best and most reasonable analogy but there are always exceptions. it's just that we aren't brave enough to pick up that challenge for who would want to risk our future? few would. this is the sad reality of life. study hard --> get a degree --> get a good job with a reasonable pay --> relatively luxurious lifestyle or higher. not this way, then cannot survive. true?
was listening to "forever and always" by parachute last morning 1am. it was kind of the trigger, like UV light of free radical subsitution. suddenly sparked an influx of emotions and i just started crying. the tears flowed fast and free, like an overflowing tap. everything just linked themselves together and gushed out of my whole system. i could literally feel the knife stabbing through my heart as i sat on my bed and my pillow became more damp by the minute. thought of how bad i had been, relationship-wise, attitude-wise and behaviour-wise. so inconsiderate, not caring about anyone else, in my own delusional world of "studying" without sparing a thought for others. thought of the cold war with my sis for one month already, still ongoing.. and how mum always flares up.. not because she's fussy, because she cares. and how dad told me to go sleep but i simply replied in a curt manner "ok lah".
...
i need to change. i will change.
